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“I Looked You up in the phone book, but beautiful wasn’t listed”

I have been in rehearsals all day, as per usual and one of the things we talked about over our lunch was Chat Up lines, more specifically the “best ones”. I’ve researched a few and interjected them here and there in this post, just for the fun of it. I guess my challenge is to make them link some way.

Last Night I was matching the stars with what I love about you… It was all good until I ran out of stars

Anyway It’s strange, this whole thing of popularity. You dont think about it, and quite often as a performer, entertainer, director, general idiot that runs around doing everything everyone else should, you really dont notice it until people say “We like you” or “You’re really good at what you do”. I got called a professional yesterday. Thats something that doesnt happen often. It was actually relating to this event – me fire eating

Me Playing with a bit of fire... fun fun fun

Yes that is me, being very stupid and playing with fire. I guess the phrase “Dont Try This At Home” comes into mind here. It was a lot of fun though and the photographers were really good sports. We even went for a drink with them. The words professional, and cool and fun, were thrown around which I liked… I guess its nice being seen to be good at something.

I just realised there was a point to me writing this post, instead of it being my usual insomniac rantings. I’ll use a new chat up line for it.

Break a bit of ice on the bar and say “Now I’ve broken the ice can I buy you a drink?”

or

About how drunk do you think I’d need to get you, for you to come home with me?

Yes that is right boys and girls we are talking about drink. One thing I have come away with from our rehearsals is just how much we have to drink. Is it such a vital part of our life that we cannot live without it. Have we all become closet alcoholics or is it just the student life? I guess there are many reasons as to why we have allowed alcohol to slowly creep into our society more and more. I’m hoping that in our production called S.A.D. The Musical we’ll be able to look deeper into that.

For me the way that I see it, is that its a comfort thing. I guess when it comes to me drinking, I use it as an excuse. I can be more confident, more daft, more “unsensible”. I know other people feel this way, but I think sometimes we use it as a crutch. Far too often alcohol becomes the excuse. Think about all the times you’ve been drunk and when you’ve looked back. How many of those times do you laugh at and think “I was only drunk”? I know too many people who do that. It’s not good.

We even joke about it… I found myself doing it earlier this week in rehearsal. Setting up a projector a couple of times and getting things ready is tiring and stressful at times. And so, I jokingly said to a cast member; “you know I really think its time for the pub now.” They laughed and I thought nothing of it. But now I do. Why is it that my first reaction on “how to deal with a stressful situation” was “lets go to the pub”… I dont think I’ll ever know, and if I do, I dont think it would be just yet anyway.

If I had to choose between one night with you or winning the lottery…I would chose winning the lottery…but it would be close…real close…

I’ve been doing a lot of extra curricular reading recently, and one thing that I’ve been thinking about is why we choose certain things. They say for example when working with children or anyone with memory problems, you should always ask questions both ways round, as it may be that they only remember the second option (i.e. “would you like chips or beans” or asking “so do you want beans and chips”) If you ask basic questions like that to a child you’ll find that they are fickle… But this doesnt stop with children.

Why is it as adults, we make random choices and develop superstitions. For example. If you are playing the lottery, why does no one put down the number 1 2 3 4 5 6. Surely they have exactly the same odds as every other number combination, but why is it that people dont think that one is lucky enough to come out. I’m tempted to play the lottery once in a while with those numbers to see what luck I get. But then again with the odds of winning, I’d rather save my money.

What about the old myths of walking under ladders, breaking mirrors etc. Why do we choose to follow them. As a theatrical person, I know many stage myths, such as leaving a candle on in a space (now usually a fire safety light) and never saying the name of the Scottish Play. While I dont follow these supersistions, I do wonder why we do these things. Do we really believe that they will give us luck? Or are we presuming that if we dont do them, bad things will happen.

It really comes down to this. Its a chicken and egg issue. Does the bad luck in these situations come because we dont do the thing? And even so, does this bad luck already exist there, as a natural occurance, or is it simply because we believe in it that we make it true. If we believe in something with enough conviction, it makes itself true. If you believe that when you walk under a ladder you are gonna get hurt, does that paranoia actually make you get hurt? I hope you are getting what I am trying to say. Anyway its 2:30AM and therefore I’ve had enough… So I’ll leave you with a few of my favourite of these chat up lines.

Before I do though, I did read an article recently that said that the best chat up lines are the intelligent ones, the ones that stimulate conversation (thanks to quirkology for that one)

(my favourite) My mother told me Id never find a girl like you. Can we go tell her she was wrong?

Do you believe in Santa Claus? Do you think that if I am good this year, he’ll put you in my stocking this year?

I’ll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast.

Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Neither do I but it broke the ice.

If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?

Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no.

and finally

You look like the type of guy/girl who’s heard every line in the book…so what’s one more?